Category Archives: Health

A Tale of Two Top-Fives

It’s been a while since I last blogged here. Okay, a really freaking long while. I’m gonna pretend that “February” two entries below this one is really an “April.” Shit, even that’s not looking so hot.

Much like one might approach a frigid ocean on an unseasonably hot spring day, I’m going to dip my toes back into the edge of the blogging depths with the aid of everyone’s favorite easy-readin’ entry format: the top-10 list. Even better: I’ll split it up.

Herewith, the top five reasons I wish I lived in the Paleolithic, and the top five reasons I’m glad I don’t.

Top Five Reasons I Wish I Lived In The Paleo Era

1. Awesome hair.

2. Freaking glyptodon, man.

3. No SkyMall.

4. Chance that the sloppy cave drawing I did that one time after a couple too many fermented berries would become the focus of popular attention and thoughtful scrutiny a million years later; even my crappy bowls might have made some press.

5. None of this crap.

Top Five Reasons I’m Glad I Don’t Live In The Paleo Era

1. Lack of opportunity for cheap thrill of lambasting ridiculous food industry, gov’t, MSM, etc via social media.

2. Potential boredom with awesome lifestyle of appropriate diet, adequate sunlight, proper sleep. Tempered slightly by greater risk of woolly mammoth impalement.

3. No SkyMall.

4. Original Queens of the Stone Age attractive but not as rocking.

5. The Swiffer. That is some simple, genius industrial design there.



Additional contributions welcome. 🙂

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I’ll Regret (Not Doing) This When I’m 80

Starting last month, my office has been hosting a “Lunch & Learn” series, composed of six separate health-focused mini seminars. A couple weeks ago, a poster went up listing the sessions, which include “What Is Good Fat?,” “To Salt or Not to Salt?,” “Cure the Sugar Blues,” “Controlling Cravings,” “What Is My Healthy Weight?,” and “You Are What You Eat.”

À grande vitesse!->

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My Kingdom for a Horse

Earlier this week, I stopped in at Tom Naughton’s Fat Head blog, as I do relatively often. While there, I took in My Thanks To The Dietary Guidelines Committee. This post takes the form of a thank-you missive to the USDA for continuing to promote nonsensical dietary advice–advice that could end up indirectly providing Tom’s own kids with a competitive advantage in life by virtue of their admittedly superior dietary upbringing.

À grande vitesse!->

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The Challenge

It was a vegan lovefest over at Harpo Studios this week. La Grande Dame got a large integer figure–378, in fact–of her staff members to sign up for a one-week “vegan challenge” at the behest of Kathy Freston, who apparently wrote a book and as such has earned the right to terrorize at least 378 hard-working TV-industry folks and, by proxy, approximately 11 billion hard-watching TV-viewer folks.

À grande vitesse!->

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Put the Lime in the Coconut (Seriously, It’s Delicious)

I love combining foods. Perhaps a little too much. I have my limits, but I’ll add hot sauce or lemon juice to just about anything. There’s too much potential in flavor and texture not to try most–okay, many–food combinations at least once.

À grande vitesse!->

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Want Not, Waste Not

No wonder we waste so much food. We’ve forgotten how to relate to it, on the most basic and the most complex of levels. We’ve spent so long, both as individuals and a society, as consumers in thrall to a food system that has abstracted us from nature, clouding our innate understanding of it as well as our ability to draw on it for nutrition and sustenance.

À grande vitesse!->

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Myths… Tasty, Tasty Myths

Normally, when I stumble across a health article on one of the major portals, my instinct is to roll eyes, brace for a clunky dose of conventional wisdom, and hope some of the advice is as at least absurd enough to be laughable (all the better if it includes some Salad Laughing shots).

À grande vitesse!->

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